There is something strange about chewing gum. I mean, if we chewed a piece a gum until its flavour was exhausted then disposed of it, it would not be at all strange, nothing more or less than a lolly. But only a fraction of chewers chew gum as a lolly. The others, and it seems there are more of them as it becomes the latest schoolyard yoyo, chew well beyond the life of the flavour and thus they chew for reasons other than flavour.
Those other reasons are unlikely to be the oral hygiene, teeth whitening, dental health, weight loss and nasal clearance touted by the firm that has made Australia's gum for almost a century, Wrigley. Why do you chew gum all day? Because it whitens my teeth!
No, the other reasons are much more likely to include social branding, as in the spitting that takes hold of teenagers every few years, a habit or a compulsion borne of a missing something, a pixel in a personal image. If you want to be an American tough guy or a gangsta you've gotta chew gum.
Footballers chew it on the field, bus drivers chew it, tradesmen chew it, assistants in hardware shops chew it, television newsreaders chew it.
Of course television newsreaders don't chew it, and viewers would turn off in droves if they did. Which leads me to my point: what are the social limits for chewing gum? When, if ever, is it rude to chew gum?
If it is not acceptable for a funeral celebrant to chew gum, why is it not? A lunchtime sandwich maker? A bus driver?
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