I don't particularly resent it from check-out staff beacause it is over and done with quickly. What does annoy me is when it turns into a chat between the customer and the retail assistant when I'm standing in line behind them not being served because they're having a wonderful time espousing their banalities for everyone to hear. Another annoyance is why am I expected to give a detailed account of my weekend or my day at work while I'm getting my hair cut? I know some people love a good gossip with the hair-dresser and if that's your thing good luck to you. But sometimes its like seeing best friends catching up after 6 weeks only they're doing it in front of a (literally) captive audience. So yes I suppose I do resent it in some situations. Am I being too harsh or am I just getting old and grumpy? Oh, and have a nice day.

Yeh its false and in a way demeaning. Possibly another thought may be lurking. But saying that "icebreakers' are always quirky and some attempt at engagement. Please and thankyou are still supposed to happen for those that think they are more real - and for most of us they are if just said without fanfare. Ahh i think i just hit on what may irk our ire and that is the false fanfare. A actor that fills a role that the boss says adds value to the commercial activity. As it does when we respond to "would you like fries with that". buying more and more of what we need less off to impress or keep up with a neighbor so that he gets overloaded with junk as well -all interest free with three product lifetimes to pay. Almost document free loans , the so called NINJA loans that showed the lunacy of the falseness of it all. Have a nice day ! Did that term evolve from Bye which evolved from good bye .. that came from god be with ye. That in its christian connatation meant 'have a safe prosperous day" So where's the problem with this ? Formality in muted suble form ? isnt that how we can spot people who may be interesting and true to know? Dont ruin the only way left to spot a real person!

"Thank you, come again!" [my patented phrase gives thanks to my paying patronage with a polite, subliminal message to return for ongoing exchange of funds for (alleged) goods and services.

JC this is going to sound a bit snotty, but i hate being asked by a pimply kid of 17 "what would you like mate?" Reverse the roles, and irrespective of how old they are i would not be calling them "mate" unless they are in fact a mate. I loathe familiarity predicated on ... nothing. I'm not all that fond of being addressed as "sir" either, so a simple "what can i get you?" is quite sufficient for me. Still, bigger issues in the world i guess

Loved your article this morning and totally agree – I always feel somewhat intimidated when asked “what are you doing this weekend?” – I really feel like saying “why do you want to know?” but don’t. And the ultimate in the let’s-ask-a-question-to-establish -rapport lunacy came one morning when I went to the local supermarket at 6.30 to get some milk, and was asked “how has your day been so far?” – I MEAN, HOW MUCH CAN HAVE HAPPENED IN THE SIX AND A HALF HOURS SINCE MIDNIGHT?

Let me firstly say, you are a crack up Corbett. "boiler"! Now thats out of the way, and i am still grinning at the image of a waiter calling a woman "Boiler". No i can't leave it yet, at what age do you become a Boiler, and at what age do you leave that rank? Look I just want to be left alone having a coffee or chatting with friends, if the coffee is good i pass that on, if it is not i say nothing. And don't you like the shock when asked by a waiter "how was your meal"? when the answer is, pretty ordinary and expensive.

nowamai, yes to all of your points . You are entitled to feel however you want to any of those situations. Dont hold it in though ! you should let those around you know if its causing you discomfort (a carefull socially acceptable way is always best) maybe at the checkout quietly saying 'excuse me but my baby just got hit by a car and i have to hurry to the hospital" will get you a serve first pass. The hairdresser might be told - "sorry but i cant talk right now because my broken back is aching again and i have to focus on pain management and it hurts most when i talk" then theres always another strategy -if you cant beat them learn how to join into the conversation. That ones the hardest to do when the conversation is giving you the trots -but people and conversations? they are happening everywhere all the time and its becoming harder and harder to avoid them. I can remeber when it was "get a punch in the mouth offence" to call someone mate that was not an inner circle mate. That was in primary school -never ever come across it until -- now. A quick punch in the mush will end the wrongfull use of the term -it did in years 4 and 5.

I don't mind being asked "how my day has been" overly, but find it a bit disconcerting when some when asked "what have you been doing today?" or "what are your plans for the weekend" at a checkout by someone you've never met before. That said I do engage in conversation with "regular" staff at businesses I frequent. One young lady likes to give me updates on how her uni studies are going. While I don't really know her well, she is pleasant and attentive, and it doesn’t seem like she is following some corporate policy manual.

The last shop assistant who asked what I was doing for the weekend didn't have a comeback when I told her I was going to sacrifice a goat and have a black mass orgy.

Jeff, again another "touchy" subject we agree on. Well it is almost "touchy" I am anticipating that is the next step after I too was asked by an underage teeny bopper " how has your day been so far? " also on another occasion "What do you have planned for the weekend ?" obviously went to the same empathy trainer as yours. Are we going to receive a hug next? Bit like religion really, a bombardment of words being thrown at us with absolutely no thought behind them. Oh! for some peace & quiet.