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 Diminished marriage 

Diminished marriage

Will gay marriage diminish the standing and value of marriage? Probably. But there is a bigger question: Does it matter?

Marriage has been degraded a number of times in the past half century and I believe it is better for it. First was the decline of the authority of the church over people in general and marriages in particular; next was no-fault divorce; then cohabiting in sin came to be recognised in law and everywhere else bar the odd church as a marriage, one without the need to divorce.

The honorific Mrs was superseded by Ms and so the fact that a woman was married was of no consequence, and in the glow of inclusivity that pervaded the 90s everybody in a relationship became a partner. This extended to people living together and in time to people simply dating, regardless of the genders, and the terms husband and wife came to be regarded, at least by people who composed the forms we fill in, as offensively exclusive.

To be a wife or a husband is to be merely someone’s partner, so we who are married are not giving much away when we allow homosexuals to marry.

Homosexuals want the right to marry because they want the same rights as heterosexuals, and while I suspect they have overestimated the value of marriage I can understand their obsession with a right denied.

I can understand, too, the opposition of such as those of Wallsend Presbyterian Church, which has been in the news for its opposition to gay marriage and the subsequent vandalism of the church. I hope I'm not being too generous when I assume that they’ve removed any prejudice against homosexuality from their deliberations on the question of marriage. We are no less entitled to disapprove of homosexuality than we are to approve of it – I see it as a fact rather than as a matter for opinion – but our attitude to equality of rights should not be distorted by our prejudices. It should not, for example, be equal rights only for those we bless.

But overriding all is the fact that homosexuals have as much right as anyone else to happiness, to full participation in the community, and if they believe having the right to marry will make them happier who are we to deny them?

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Date: Newest first | Oldest first
It seems that they will do anything to "grandstand" and get attention. They have gone out of their way to MAKE themselves different to everyone else - silly really . . when they chant equality!

We don't see heterosexual Mardi Gras or non gay bars etc. We just live our lives and remain normal - they are the one's who are making themselves "different".

I can't see any reason for a Marraige these days unless a male and female wish to make a union and bear offspring, forming a family unit.

I am more into getting along with my fellow man - not dividing us.

Posted by Kurri'nRose, 16/02/2012 4:39:09 AM, on The Herald
The sooner they let them get married the better so they can be just as unhappy as the rest of us.
Posted by Bush Bunny, 16/02/2012 5:37:52 AM, on The Herald
nice try f....., your just a typical homphobe, so common to this shite site.
Posted by Droppa, 16/02/2012 6:13:51 AM, on The Herald
They come in all shapes, sizes and sexualities!
Posted by Jeff Corbett on 16/02/2012 7:52:11 AM
I don't have a problem with gays marrying each other. Why should heterosexuals be the only unhappy ones...... As you say, they have probably overestimated the value of marriage.

but how do you feel about a couple of gay men adopting a child?

Posted by judgedredd, 16/02/2012 6:53:32 AM, on The Herald
Undecided, judge.
Posted by Jeff Corbett on 16/02/2012 7:59:53 AM
Definitely overestimated the value of marriage - at least in its current diminished state. That isn't all bad - traditional roles of breadwinner and homemaker have been blurred and that's no bad thing, but I hate that my husband is now my "partner"! Just why has it become so important at a time when it couldn't be less imperative? There really is no magic stamp to identify those who are married from those who are not. If you want to dress up and have a party go ahead, but that's not the essence of marriage. I hope this can be discussed without the horrible vitriol witnessed of late.
Posted by Mrs W., 16/02/2012 6:59:00 AM, on The Herald
Looking at it marriage was once a ceremony that took place in a church, but with us we didn't use a church or have any religious references in our ceremony so in a way our wedding differed from those of decades ago so I guess if we can have a church free wedding I can not see why same sex couples can't do the same.


Posted by Crazyivan, 16/02/2012 7:05:51 AM, on The Herald
It is clear from the history of the various antidiscrimination movements in the West over the last 50 years that gay people will be able to legally marry in many countries within the near future. The idiocies of religious bigots will not stop this inevitability (the Catholic church still bans contraception but this prohibition is ignored by 95% of sexually active catholics).

What is needed far more is the end of the outdated feudal system of 'ownership' that is marriage. It is now a ridiculously expensive, outmoded and ineffective form of bondage.

Posted by Hank Williams, 16/02/2012 7:11:59 AM, on The Herald
Thanks, Jeff! Gay marriage won't "diminish the standing and value of marriage". Actually gay marriage will *add to* the standing and value of marriage! This is because marriage is really about 2 people who want to commit publicly their love for each other.

If churches want to have a different definition of marriage for their ceremonies, then that is fine; those who want a "traditional" marriage can still have that.

But the civil definition? Surely that's about love.

Posted by teiwaz, 16/02/2012 7:18:30 AM, on The Herald
Love? Civil marriage is about a contract, and a very weak one at that!
Posted by Jeff Corbett on 16/02/2012 8:15:41 AM
I recently saw a t-shirt: "I support gay marriage - as long as both girls are hot." This is a debate about the wrong issue - it should not be a question about whether people of the same gender should be entitled to marry (I see no reaon why they should not - hot or otherwise), it should be about what place the State should have in regulating relationships between consenting adults. For my money, what consenting adults get up to is no business of the State's. Relgions should of course be free to endorse only those relationshis consistent with their dogma. The debate should be broader.
Posted by Scott Hillard, 16/02/2012 8:19:27 AM, on The Herald
Why worry about it? After all, prior to the last election, our erstwhile Prime Minister pledged it wouldn’t happen with her Government.
Posted by MizJasper, 16/02/2012 8:25:14 AM, on The Herald
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Jeff Corbett
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