Opinion

Life's priorities

Imagine that you've been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and, since life is never fair, perhaps you don't need to imagine. Sink into that diagnosis and prognosis for a few seconds and try to gauge whether such terrible news will change the way you see your life. Do you have any regrets about the way you've distributed your life's time? Would you change the proportions of that distribution if you had such an opportunity?

Imagine, now, that doctors have just arrived to issue a reprieve, the news that you don't have a terminal illness at all. In my column in The Herald today I tell of just such a reprieve for a fellow whose adult children I know - last week he was given 12 months, if he was lucky, and this week the terminal cancer is an infection that will be cleared up with antibiotics! You too have been rescued at the doorstep of death. Will the experience change you? Will your outlook change? Will you continue to work? Will the reassessment change your daily life and your long-term plans?

I've been there, not with the certainty of my friends' father and not reprieved as dramatically, and it strikes me that the changes I wished I'd made when I was in good health I have not made when I've been restored to good health. Sure, I'm not so inclined to take my life for granted these days, and I appreciate the freedom from anxiety, but I have not re-organised my priorities as I'd wish I had. How do you think you'd go before and after?

Posted By: Jeff Corbett on 3/09/2009 6:08:00 PM | Comments (13)

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Its likely that i will feel gratefull, gratefull for something I was not expecting. I hope he had life insurance that he was able to claim on -but I wonder if they want it back now?

Posted by grateful, 4/09/2009 11:12:55 AM, on The Herald

After my incident with my dogs, which I might have died from.. (I thought I had bought it)...I believe my life has changed...the biggest change in my thinking is that life is way to short....sure what happened was an accident, not a terminal disease or something like that, but it was a life changing experience......life really is way too short.

Posted by suzhousid, 4/09/2009 11:25:55 AM, on The Herald

Like the passenger on the Cairo ferry who fell overboard, I'm in de Nile.

Posted by Clare, 4/09/2009 12:14:05 PM, on The Herald

Well Jeff, Firstly, your friend would have had the best sleep of his life last night after being told that news. I have never been in that situation and that is one situation i think you need to be in for it to get an honest answer. I wish your friend, his family and friends the greatest happieness in this time of joy.

Posted by Nafe, 4/09/2009 12:37:56 PM, on The Herald

In July 1998 we were one of four peadiatric patients in a room at C2 West Ward at Sydney Childrens' Hospital.Con was 16 and with his mum Mary had been asked to go to a make shift consulting room (never a good sign ).On returning to the room Con was in tears repeatedly saying he did not want to die.Everybody in the room was now numb ,scared and at a loss, his mum went to the bedside cupboard and brought out a large tin of Dulux paint,it was a premotional can, full of jellybeans and she walked the room silently offering all a jelly bean, she had began to rally as all mums do in dire times.The prognosis proved correct and Con died on Christmas eve.Mary said she had been luckier than her friend who lossed her son in a car accident for she had an opportunity to savour every remaining moment of her son's final journey.When i see jellybeans i think of Mary's prophetic words.

Posted by chaff and oats, 4/09/2009 12:38:12 PM, on The Herald

As I've told you before Jeff you dont want to be on your deathbed wishing you'd had more sex. If its all you think about in your spare time when you're well - how much more keenly you will feel the loss when you're crook. Actually in my experience dying is all about how crook you feel--once you get used to the idea thats it is going to happen-its a relief to surrender if you're in pain or distress.

Posted by Snooze, 4/09/2009 1:43:13 PM, on The Herald

C&A , i am amazed every time i read your posts at how you can find some positive in such misery. there is not a hint of bitterness for your sons death. i find you an inspiration for when my piddling little problems get me down. how do you have such peace ?

Posted by catl, 4/09/2009 1:49:37 PM, on The Herald

Jeff, ...this will be way of topic...Today is quite warm, so I have the windows open, I have a least a dozen small eateries within 2oo metres from my front door, school will be starting in a week or so , everyone is back , the place has exploded with students, so the eateries have fired up again, ...the smells are intoxicating, it is 'deadset' driving me nuts... I am getting the leg wobbles...got to go, I have to go and get a chinese style omelet with maybe some chicken kebabs done in Sichuan style, topped off with an icy cold 'chingdao' beer...life really is way too short..must go, my stomach is rumbling big time.

Posted by suzhousid, 4/09/2009 4:14:42 PM, on The Herald

Jeff, I had my reprieve in 2005, a mini stroke at work left me blind for 20 minutes, blurred vision for about five minutes before returning to normal. 16 hrs. in hospital and months of specialist treatment. I pulled the pin and travell our great country as much and as often as my wife and I can. Just do it, time is running out.

Posted by intouch, 5/09/2009 10:59:53 PM, on The Herald

Hello intouch. That would be a huge fright! How old were you at the time of your decision to retire (I assume you retired) and were you financially prepared for retirement?

Posted by Jeff Corbett on 7/09/2009 10:34:54 AM

A family member of mine was misdiagnosed with a blood test and told he would die. He told his wife. He went up the wattagans and sat, telling one of his teenage daughters the news first. ( feeling the other daughter was under a bit too much stress just yet to know). He later was told that he had had his blood test mixed upwith someone else of the same name! I often reflect on his reaction... initially he was very concerned for the bloke walking around thinking he was ok (maybe?) . He then arranged a trip wth his wife OS bought a boat... continued work til retirement. ( overjoyed to have retired) & relishes evey day! (ps his wife was diagnosed wth cancer this year)....thankfully an op has removed the cancer, but life is very very fragile isnt it!

Posted by live for today, 7/09/2009 11:06:19 AM, on The Herald

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