Opinion

Live-alone rejects

People who live alone believe others see them as being difficult, lonely, boring, idle and with little to do, according to a social research firm, Heartbeat Trends, and we know that they're both right, the people who live alone and Heartbeat Trends. We who are embraced by the political mantra of "working families" and the marketers' ideal of "happy families" regard live-alone men of certain ages with suspicion and live-alone women above a certain age and with no obvious reason for their aloneness as failures, rejects, unfortunates.

Heartbeat reports that the "working families" campaigns that were so prominent in the most recent federal election leave lone residents with the sense that they are irrelevant and marketers' incessant portrayal of happy families must reinforce this sense. Even supermarket specials are packaged for couples and more, and travel deals always seem to be for couples or for those who want to share.

Young women, Heartbeat found, were the only live-alone people who felt accepted, reporting that they believe society sees them as empowered, independent and in control, which suggests to me that these young women need a man in their lives.

It is true, I think, that people who live alone are ignored by government and business and, at certain ages, regarded by neighbours as suspect until proven otherwise. That they are 10 per cent of the Hunter's population makes this even more extraordinary.

Do you find yourself being wary of live-aloners? Are you a live-aloner who feels the wariness? Do people who live alone get something short of a fair go?

Posted By: Jeff Corbett on 25/02/2010 4:58:00 PM | Comments (26)

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Living in the Hunter makes me feel ignored by government - has nothing to do with marital status.

Posted by Labored to Death, 26/02/2010 8:59:08 AM, on The Herald

I lived alone for many years and loved it....not to say I don't like my present co-habiting relationship status. So many advantages around living alone...but you can tnd to be a bit selfish; but why not. I'm sure we'll have lots of sob stories about food packaging and travel deals - as if there's a conspiracy to discriminate against loners...but to those people, enjoy the benefits and just go back to your Soup For One and suck it up....literally

Posted by stevo106, 26/02/2010 9:19:04 AM, on The Herald

WHen living alone a few years back, I had new neighbours move in (two young attractive blonde girls, about 5 years younger than me). Over time we became very good friends and often ate meals together and went out socially. A few years after they confided that for the first few weeks of living next door to me that thought I was strange because I was living by myself and also because I was friendly and outgoing. They would rush past my door quickly so I would not see them etc. It wasn't until they got to know me that they realised I was simply being friendly and that I wasn't going to come after them with an axe at midnight!

Posted by NOw Living With the Missus, 26/02/2010 9:26:53 AM, on The Herald

lonely? Get a suitable pet !

Posted by lonely, 26/02/2010 9:38:06 AM, on The Herald

Hey Jeff-all those nude old blokes on Burwood beach you picked on a couple of columns back--they probably live alone and are just being friendly to each other!

Posted by Snooze, 26/02/2010 9:52:55 AM, on The Herald

I loved alone for a looong time until marriage and family "struck" in my mid 30's. How I miss it. Quiet, noone else to consider and make way for (a husband and father is typically last in the pecking order), choose when you go out, or invite others over. No fighting or listening to others fighting. Enjoy the quietness of just being, and leave something somewhere and have it there when you come back to it!!!!! Bye now, I'm off to call my lawyer about a divorce....

Posted by harold, 26/02/2010 10:04:05 AM, on The Herald

I've travelled alone for long periods but I've never lived alone in the settled sense. Instead I lived with flatmates, and while I've remained friends with them I must say the experience wasn't always pleasant. Some were untidy and even dirty, most helped themselves freely to my food in the fridge (then left it out or uncovered), they'd play loud music at all hours, and they felt no compunction about breaking my treasured beer and wine glasses. One fellow, a workmate, would turn up to work in my clothes occasionally! Another never threw anything out, even rubbish, so that months after I'd left the flat to live with the woman who is now my wife he phoned me to ask for my help in clearing his rubbish out of the flat. I arrived with a ute and removed 15 huge plastic bags of garbage - straight to the dump. I'd live alone any day!

Posted by Jeff Corbett on 26/02/2010 10:16:38 AM

I am very happily married and familied, but crikey I'd love some real solitude once in a while. Every year I am asked what I want fror Christmas. 'Silence and solitude' is my standard reply, which usualy elicits rolled eyes and a grunt of derision from the inquisitor. I have yet to get what I asked for. I don't think live-aloners are anything but live-aloners. I'm not wary of live aloners. I'm wary of crazy lunatics, deadbeats, crack addicted house invaders and other oxygen bandits that try to spoil my day....

Posted by Abundance, 26/02/2010 10:30:37 AM, on The Herald

I am never alone. I live with Jesus. And He never remembers to lower the toilet seat.

Posted by Mary, 26/02/2010 11:45:23 AM, on The Herald

I have always lived alone, aside from a few years of sharing digs in Sydney and a few moments of cohabitation with women who I thought that I may have married. Living alone is for me as natural as breathing. I don't have screaming with matches with my spouse, (my upstairs neighbour, an aussie, by the way) I don't have issues with some one eating my food, I don't to listen to someone else's loud music. I can do what ever I want with the toilet seat. I get all the peace and solitude that I require. I am so used to it now, that sharing with some one would be a difficult transition for me. If people are wary of me? that's good. It means that the idiots stay away. Some people may think what a sad man, if only they knew. I am as free as one can be.

Posted by suzhousid, 26/02/2010 12:51:31 PM, on The Herald

I live alone and I certainly don't consider that other people think I'm difficult, lonely, boring, idle and with little to do. In fact if anyone said that of me I'd laugh in their face. I socialise a lot and entertain at home often and when everybody has gone home I have the peace and quiet all to myself. My partner only live a couple of door down the street and while we have discussed the expense of running two homes for a number of years neither of us is willing to give up our sanctuary. However, our relationship seems to work better than most of the couples that live together

Posted by Brando, 26/02/2010 1:02:50 PM, on The Herald

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