were you a smoker? Although everyone for years was a smoker by default ..living in newcastle! yes i know the meaning of staring death in the face and its sobering influence on who and what i thought i was. Just a bird going about its annual ritual suddenly had great meaning to me. The useless stupid behaviour of many started to stand out of the page as just that ... useless and stupid. All of the wrong things started to be realised as just that -wrong things. All the right things started to appear to be just that the right things. Not by perception but by realisation of the difference between right and wrong. We are born , i think with natural empathy, a sense of justice and the ability to recognise right and wrong. This gets conditioned out of us and its only for me when my life could have been finished in a heartbeat that I returned to a preconditioned mental state of realising what I was before being society conditioned. I cry too easy, i give too much and i shy from unjust causes. what a wusss i have become ?

I think I understand, Jeff. A serious health scare makes you acutely aware of time & the 'opportunity cost' of doing things (if I do this right now, I can't do that). I remember sitting in my office one evening some years ago. My GP called, regarding biopsy results. The news was bad, surgery was required, & all is now well. I was utterly stunned, & sat in shock for some time. I remember thinking 'this could kill me! What will I spend my remaining time doing?'. I was very tempted to walk out of the office & never set foot in there again. Having had exceptionally good medical care since AND a powerful dose of luck, I'm ok. I remain very aware of how precious each moment is, & have found that, when you can become 'mindful', even for fleeting minutes or seconds, there is no such thing as a mundane moment. Every moment is a wonderful experience. We (I) find it so easy default to being arrogant & judgemental, when it is far more appropriate to be humble & grateful. Wealthy or powerful people are often no more mindful (or happy) than the less wealthy. Often they are distracted by wealth or power. I always remind myself : one day ~ one moment ~ you wake up dead. So live right now.

While not having had the type of experience your referring to JC, I have had to learn how to relax and appreciate the smaller things in life. I used to always need to be doing something. If I didn't go off and do something with a weekend I saw it as a weekend wasted. I was that busy trying to get away somewhere to relax I didn't actually do any relaxing. Reminds me of a poem by Stephen Dobbyns that begins "Everything I do I rush through so I can do something else". Thankfully things have changed, I went for a drive on sunday out to Boat Harbour and just sat there watching the ocean and next thing I knew I had been there for an hour and was content to stay for another. Only trouble now is that my new sedentary lifestyle has resulted in an ever expanding girth. Time to start riding the bush tracks around here I think.

I am sure we will all have our own stories of being aware of our own mortality. Reading about ww1 and ww1 with the scale of millions dead from different countries is extremely sobering. But it really takes your own personal experiences to truly ground those thoughts. Mine would be miscarriages, and then being in early pregnancy and losing my sister last year. I truly regret not savouring more moments with her. It is a miracle I have my lovely little seven month old, and I adore every minute with him, even when he chooses 2am to have a little party. I try so hard not to whinge about anything in my life as just being given the gift of life everyday is an honour. But! having a bit of a whinge every now and then is kind of a necessity also.

But if you just think about sex all the time-like I do-- how would that change?I mean I'd just think that I'd like to cram in as much as possible-although if you were crook enough to die you wouldnt feel up to much I suppose.I entertain myself by daydreaming about winning lotto-delicious fantasy with impossible odds stacked against you--unlike dying-with 100% certainty that awaits us all.A character in Anthony Powell's marvellous Chronicle "A Dance to the Music of Time" said "Growing old is like being increasingly punished for a crime you never committed" You can live too long you know Jeff.

But just think Jeff, Old Ron Banch would win the cycling race every time !! Do you cycle a bit with Ron at all Jeff? A known Melbourne Olympic Silver medalist & trainer from Newcastle ... And still pretty quick on the Bike I must say at his age!... What can I say but Happy Birthday Ron, sorry I missed the party at the Rosebud bowling club ya old Champion... A Newcastle cyclist that was 2 quickest person in the world during his peak in cycling. Good on ya Jeff at least you still get into it, just think you are now eligible for the Master Games now and might have that grand win still in you !!! Croquet anyone??

I think we all, when faced with a challenge to our immortality, we all begin to appreciate the small and mundane items of our life. Unfortunately most of us will have to have advanced down the track to the final solution before we being to being really appreciative. For example Jeff, if you could be transported back all those years years ago and knowing it was to be the final walk around the block, wouldnt it be more important and poignant than it is now? I know my regret was the final time I saw my father. We had been to his place for holidays and as we were leaving, he was standing out the front, waving. I didnt realise the importance at the time. I do now after all the intervening years. For him, it would have been the last time he gazed over Merewether Golf Course.

"Thanks dad" he said from the driver's seat of his new ute as he raised his tremoring hand to shake.The ute was not new and was not necessarily his but at the end of the handshake it was indeed his.Despite great difficulties,he gained his Ps unassisted by his own skill and ability.Six months later and cancer took his life.It was a moment to savour as were the horse and bike rides,the pie at Aberdeen,chasing rabbits with the Jack Russells, having a Nice biscuit before bed and shaving the hair remnants.Yes , Jeff, it is difficult to express the importance and appreciation of the ordinary events in life but i think you do it well.For me there is now life after death and a new road but as the road is new and continues to fork it is hard to know .

Great column today JC. A particularly nasty illness (caused by working stupid hours & not listening to my body) put me in ICU and on the brink a couple of times approx 13 years ago. The after effects of that were considerable difficulty walking for around 10-12mths post illness (arthritic effects). When i got that cleared up (thanks to traditional chinese medicine) i was determined that because i could now walk, i would run. So i ran, cycled, did triathlons. I did none of these particularly well, but i did them because for a long while it looked like i might not be able to. I don't do any of them enough these days, but i will never forget the feeling that at 28years of age i was hobbling around like an old man. So now i appreciate as much as i can, and try to savour the simple things.

yep, I have pondered the same questions, I realized that life is too short.