It is one of our language's most valuable words and so the likelihood that it is going the way of bugger is disturbing. Bugger, as you know, was a delightful and mild expletive until Toyota buried it forever with its Bugger! ads just over a decade ago. Using the word in mainstream marketing killed it forever, and stubbing your toe or cutting a finger has never been the same.
Well, in my column in The Herald today I break the terrible news that the f-word is about to go the same way. Last month, for the first time, I saw it being used for mainstream marketing, and we know what that means. The first such sighting was in Hastings River Drive, Port Macquarie, where the retailer Floor King had a big sign offering the "best floorking deal" or words to that effect. Days later in Kempsey a car yard had a sign offering a "***king great deal". Soon we'll have children's fun parks offering a funking great time.
We need to find a replacement, but what? We need a word that allows us to let off steam, to switch from formal to informal, as a password into tight social groups, a bonding agent for men, to mark a temporary admission of women into a circle, as a much more interesting alternative to the word very. But above all, to let off steam.
English has no other word as useful so we need to invent another one and floorking soon. In my column today I suggest blurting, as in blurt off, he's a blurting idiot and get blurted. Our word must have consonants that allow it to crack from our lips.
Any suggestions? Can we borrow from another language? And have you, too, witnessed the commercial abuse of the f-word?
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