Opinion

Real nice guys

I assume you know a nice guy or two, although that may be a generous assumption given their rarity. I'm talking genuine nice guys, men and women who attach more importance to the welfare of others than to their own. I know a couple, and I have always been struck by their vulnerability. They are vulnerable to people like you and me because they are selfless and we are selfish. And yes, you and I do regard our interests as paramount always, and therefore we are selfish. In my column in The Herald today I explore my theory that nice guys are disqualified from most occupations because most occupations require a disdain for the interests of other people or, if not a disdain, a willingness to exploit other people. Yes, even journalism.

There are few occupations that don't require the occupants to see people as grist for the mill, and nice guys are simply not capable of that.

What is the quality that makes a nice guy? It's not admiring children as the parents look on proudly, or charming old ladies, and I think ridgy-didge nice guys are much too passive to do either. They're passive lest being forthright offends.

Tell us about the nice guys you know, and tell us how they differ from the rest of us.

Posted By: Jeff Corbett on 29/07/2009 5:59:00 PM | Comments (32)

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I know a young guy, He is a real gem, he works in the buiding industry and is tall, handsome and strong, he has been an exceptional young rugby league player and has had a dozen or so amature boxing fights, winning most. As a teenager he started mentoring intellectually challenged people as a volunteer and still does, he has had civic awards for this. He loves animals and is very active in fundraising and care. He gives to everyone, never says no. So people keep turning up asking for favours, some return the favour with friendship being there for him. Others do not, but he still gives. He knows that he is being asked because he always says yes, but does it anyway. Women have used him, and left him wondering why, he sees good in most people. I believe there are about 5% of the population who are decent nice people, the other 95% are just burning them out. This boy is my son, my other son has a similar attitude, but spots a user a mile away.

Posted by Buell, 30/07/2009 10:23:29 AM, on The Herald

Buell, you too maybe in this catorgary.

Posted by intouch, 30/07/2009 11:08:55 AM, on The Herald

This type of person is becoming a rarity as the majority of the generations coming through will be too busy scrabbling trying to make ends meet to sustain lifestyles far beyond their capacity to pay. There will always be decent persons such as you describe Jeff but they will be harder to find in the headlong rush to aquire material possessions to a point where need is overwhelmed by greed.

Posted by MizJasper, 30/07/2009 11:42:09 AM, on The Herald

I'm not nice enough to comment.

Posted by Directeur Sportif, 30/07/2009 1:56:07 PM, on The Herald

It has long been obvious to me, Directeur Sportif, that you are intransigently impervious to your impact on others. Is there a clinical name for an absence of empathy?

Posted by Jeff Corbett on 30/07/2009 2:09:16 PM

All the nice guys go into politics. Don't believe me? Just ask them!

Posted by Member for Erehwon, 30/07/2009 2:07:04 PM, on The Herald

Clinical absence of empathy is sociopathy or psychopathy, pick the one you like.

Posted by Jaqui, 30/07/2009 2:18:49 PM, on The Herald

Autism too?

Posted by Jeff Corbett on 30/07/2009 2:35:27 PM

Fair go jeff, just because someone's autistic doesn't mean they're sociopaths.

Posted by mike birch, 30/07/2009 2:45:29 PM, on The Herald

Agreed.

Posted by Jeff Corbett on 30/07/2009 3:14:08 PM

I got a mate who you would put in the category of a nice bloke. Always willing and wanting to help, happy to go out of his way and put things off to assist others, and gets embarressed when people do nice things to him.

Posted by Nafe, 30/07/2009 2:50:20 PM, on The Herald

That's not very nice!

Posted by Directeur Sportif, 30/07/2009 2:55:36 PM, on The Herald

The last cyclist I ran off the road told me I was a nice bastard.

Posted by moron, 30/07/2009 2:57:42 PM, on The Herald

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