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Terminal living

We all know we're moving through time to death, and we all know that we don't know when we'll arrive at the destination. Could be decades, years, months, weeks, days, hours. Minutes might be a bit severe, but everyone is just minutes of death at some point. Still, few people will dwell on this.

When, however, a doctor tells us that the illness is terminal, the shock is overwhelming. For some it's overwhelming for longer, and for some, I'm told, it is the shock and the anxiety that kills them, not the disease. I suppose the doctor's time frame shortens our outlook, that it is always shorter than the one we'd have had in mind if we'd turned our mind to the subject, and I suppose that the prognosis forces us to confront our dying and death.

The acceptance that life itself is terminal doesn't help. Almost five years ago when I asked the surgeon who had just discovered that I had throat cancer whether I was l was likely to survive it, he replied that I could get hit by a bus on the way home. Take it from me, that didn't help!

In my column in The Herald today I discuss my difficulty in talking with people about their terminal illness and seek advice on that from Make Today Count. It's a difficulty I'm likely to encounter as I get older, unless, of course, I get hit by a bus.

What are your thoughts?

Posted By: Jeff Corbett on 18/02/2009 4:15:32 PM | Comments (7)

comments

Date: Newest first | Oldest first

I have two sons who have been diagnosed with cancer both at the age of nine.The first with Acute Lymphoblastic Luekemia,he suffered many setbacks during his two years of treatment but has made a full recovery,his brother had a Medulla Blastoma, a brain tumour, which has relapsed three times and has had his quality of life destroyed by its treatment.I am so proud of his grit, courage and determination as he faces one challenge after another,after another, after.....He inspires many.This is my eleventh year of watching kids,mine and others,suffer from this insideous disease.I have relinguished most of my working role in an attempt to play a supporting role but it is difficult,often the day passes with out much to show but on other days there is some fun.With that in mind we are off to the Quirindi Cup tomorrow and the tip Our Mate Tom race one.

Posted by chaff and oats, 18/02/2009 10:47:17 PM

It would be remiss not to note the significance of the 5 years since your throat cancer, Jeff, it makes you an official survivor of cancer.Well done!A few years ago you wrote a very moving column on a young child who battled cancer and sadly passed away,if you still have it post it up one day.

Posted by chaff and oats, 18/02/2009 11:02:33 PM

Chaff and Oats, still the nicest Blogger out there. Out of all the crap i read and write on these blogs, you always give me a smile or deep respect when i read yours. All the best at the races.

Posted by Buell, 19/02/2009 9:14:04 AM

Chaff and Oats ~ your words and your love for your family are an inspiration. More power to you and the children. I'm gonna go out and back Our Mate Tom. GO good thing :)

Posted by StopPayingTheBludgers, 19/02/2009 10:52:15 AM

Chaff and oats, you truly are an inspiration.

Posted by moron, 19/02/2009 10:59:58 AM

God bless your family chaff & oats ! What you will find when someone has major problems in life is that they don't look at life through "rose coloured glasses" as alot of people with nothing wrong with them do, life has ups & downs and people with major problems have a bumpier ride than others. It's not what you think you can say to them, it is what you can do with them, because alot of people take a step back when major health problems occour. Also what you will find is that children with termial problems have hearts of gold & will make the strongest man go weak with the resilliance they have. There are two things that are sure in life, death and taxes, some get to pay them taxes for a long time & some don't get to pay taxes at all from their short time here, but while they are here make sure you spend most of your time with them. Friends will come and go, but Mateship lasts forever and what you will find is that they just want the mateship on that journey.

Posted by Rory the racing car, 19/02/2009 11:46:16 AM

jeff about 9 years ago i woke up one morning with a headache. I don't get headaches, so this was unusual. Being a bloke i ignored it, and the next day when i awoke the headache was worse and my left eye was red. Very unusual. Being a bloke and confident that "it'll clear up in a few days", i left it again and took some dispirin to deal with the headache. Next day ignoring was not an option. Despite the inconvenience i knew it would cause me (being late for work) i went to see a GP. Then a specialist. Then another specialist. Biopsies, talk of radiation, chemo, surgery, etc. In less than a week i had gone from the best physical shape of my life to having a malignant growth removed from behind my eye. Only the size of a pea, but growing. Small discomfort for me compared to the years of suffering others (and especially their families) go through, but also very very sobering. i do all the right things now to ensure no recurrence is missed (so far so good), but it is a grounding experience. The carers of those who battle with more vigorous cancers are a very special breed, and stronger than i think i could ever be in their position. Hats off to the carers - they're the silent heroes. Interestingly, i never told my family about this - almost like owning it myself gave me some measure of control. As you would know or relate to, that's one of the things we cling to most.

Posted by fista, 19/02/2009 10:31:40 PM