Shouldn't we all have the benefit of our very own sorry day so that the prime minister can tell us that we are the champions of the day, that we are those driven by sheer tenacity, by an unswerving sense of justice, that we are the ones who kept the flame of hope alight? And to bask in the oratory of the opposition leader telling us that "we admire you, we believe you, we love you"?
It was a competition in Canberra's Great Hall this week to see who of our national leaders could jerk the most tears from a willing crowd, and the floodgates were opened when men mentioned in each leader's speech embraced Mr Turnbull or Mr Rudd. Cute.
In my column in The Herald today I claim the theme for the third national sob. I and countless other Australians were caned mercilessly at school, and whether that was with good reason, as it usually was in my case, should not intrude on the wonderful emotional release of the day next year.
After national sorry days for the so-called stolen generation and the so-called forgotten people, could you tolerate one more outpouring for the so-called naughty boys? Or should we make it an annual event with a ballot for the theme?