For too long the evolution of the English language has been hindered by the people of least relevance in the modern day, old fogies. These stick-in-the-muds clutch what they see as special knowledge, the rules of correct English, and somehow they continue to insist successfully that the measure of education is this knowledge of the rules of English.
In my column in The Herald today I take just one of their rallying points, the apostrophe, and show that the pedants are losing both touch and power as SMS and email become the primary form of written communication. And they won't lose all the power soon enough.
The apostrophe adds nothing to communication, and since the purpose of language is communication it must be without use. Take the words it's, for it is, and its, the possessive. As you come across these words in a sentence it is not the apostrophe that provides the meaning but the context of the word. Indeed, if it were the apostrophe we'd be in strife because it's and its are confused so often these days.
I give you this extract from the Fairfax Stylebook as an example of the ridiculous impost of this squiggle:
"Drop the apostrophe from the proper names of such organisations as Australian Workers Union, Victorian Employers Federation, General Practitioners Society; that is, treat the key word (Workers, Employers, Practitioners - the people forming the organisation) as plural but not possessive.
"But use the apostrophe where a possessive s is attached to men, women, people and children: Seamen's Union, Country Women's Association, People's Liberation Army, Children's Television Workshop.
"Where the key word (naming the people who form the organisation) is preceded by a possessive noun, use the apostrophe in that possessive: Builders' Labourers Federation, Victorian Printers' Operatives Union, Plumbers and Gasfitters' Employees Union. We take this approach for consistency and typographic simplicity (avoiding, for instance, the double possessive Builders' Labourers' Federation)."
The fact is that only a minority of adult Australians of any generation are reliably correct in their use of apostrophes. And by continuing to inflict its arcane rules on schoolchildren we are setting them up for failure. We should be teaching them how to communicate well, not burdening them with the rules of useless apostrophes.
So let's rid Australia of the apostrophe. What say you? It will be almost as unburdening as ridding Australia of the Queen.
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