But if you crave the freshest crustaceans you must forget the bank balance and visit the tank to choose a live mud crab or crayfish (rock lobster) to be turned into one of the chef's signature dishes. My taste these days leans towards simplicity and allowing the produce to speak for itself. While sashimi-style will certainly be simple, I can't imagine extracting raw lobster meat from the claws, and as this is one of the real pleasures of eating fresh shellfish, grilled it must be. The 800g specimen leers at me from its bed of salad greens, its sweet, succulent flesh infused with garlic. The tail meat comes away easily from the shell but a crustacean does not yield its secrets lightly. You'll need the crackers and lobster picks to prise every last morsel from all the tentacles and claws. Don't expect an early end to dinner. Even the basket of chips is forgotten in the primitive quest for sustenance. And the salad greens are completely redundant.

A 600-gram mud crab fished from the tank becomes Singapore chilli mud crab. If you think eating the lobster is messy you ain't seen nothing yet! The thoughtfully supplied bib makes a small concession but the shirt will have to go straight to the laundry basket.

Debris-filled bowls are quickly replaced. Finger bowls with lemon are appreciated. The only things missing are some soft, sweet Singapore buns to mop up the sticky, chilli, garlicky sauce.

A trio of sorbets is the perfect palate freshener. While the mango's flavour is rather restrained, the smooth textured raspberry really packs a punch. A slightly grainy-textured but tangy lemon sorbet completes the trio.

My memory of lobster thermidor and elegant surroundings doesn't seem nearly as much fun as tonight's down and dirty encounter with a couple of crustaceans.