TOPICS: The perils of predictive text

PREDICTIVE text on mobile phones might be the banana of our existence.

Perhaps you share our pain. You’re thumbing at your phone’s touch screen, you get distracted and before you know it you’ve fluffed your message about your friend Jordan.

What was intended as ‘‘bloody Jordan’’ comes out as ‘‘bloody Korean’’.

The software’s designed to save time and make sense of what you really meant when your fingertips touched eight letters at once. It usually works. Or, at worst, substitutes ‘‘it’s’’ for ‘‘its’’.

But sometimes it comes up with a clanger.

We were forwarded the following text.

‘‘Hey guys, which day suits you forbids snails dress shopping Sunday, April 15 or April 22?’’

The ‘‘forbids snails dress shopping’’ was meant to be ‘‘bridesmaids dress shopping’’.

Topics also recently received a text from a friend who’d meant to write that Alec Baldwin was ‘‘guesting’’ on Letterman.

The actual message stated that the Emmy-winning actor was ‘‘gyrating’’ on the veteran host.

Even octogenarian media barons can fall victim.

In January, Rupert Murdoch sent out a baffling tweet that included the sentence ‘‘Seems like universal anger with Optus from all sort of normal supporters’’.

He quickly followed up with ‘‘of course I meant POTUS [President of the United States]. Somehow iPad changed my spelling. I should have checked. Sorry’’.

With more old folks texting than ever before, the next few years could be brimming with fun.

Care to tell Topics about your predictive text slip-up? The guilty can remain anonymous.

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