TOPICS: Rap reps Australia

VIDEO: 'Newcastle, this place is pretty good (the rap)' 

THE comedians who racked up thousands of views with a rap about Newcastle have delivered an ode to Australia Day that packs in everything from Harold Holt to Havaianas.

Rob Bukey and Bronte Donovan – whose clip Newcastle, This Place is Pretty Good has more than 140,000 YouTube hits – have modest hopes of repeating that success.

‘‘It doesn’t even really matter what I say, ’cause you’re not gonna listen to it anyway, ’cause the Hottest 100’s on Triple J,’’ raps Bukey, 25, from Lakelands.

The rap is to the music of Men at Work’s Down Under, and it’s jam-packed with Australiana that ranges from the cringeworthy to the affectionate.

There’s a bit of ribbing the Kiwis about their lack of vowels and the underarm ball, and the bang-on observation that most of us will crack open anything today but a Foster’s.

Our favourite lines are a cricket brag about having ‘‘dismissals that are better than John Kerr’’, and a claim that ‘‘even my kangaroo has a Southern Cross tattoo’’.

Donovan, 21, from Warners Bay, tells us she encouraged Bukey to get his ideas about Australia Day made into a video.

‘‘Rob wrote this a while ago, and I told him ‘You have to do something with this’,’’ Donovan said.

The duo were surprised by the response to their scathing but loving tribute to Newcastle, and are sometimes recognised on the street.

 High board reopens

 IT’S not every Australia Day you get to experience a rite of passage, unless you count being trapped in a long, heavy conversation with Uncle Col. 

And we don’t, Col. So let’s keep it lively this year.

Today is Lambton Pool’s 50th birthday. There’s free entry to the water slide, and punters have a rare chance to jump from the top platform.

Plummeting those 10metres used to be part of growing up in the Hunter, but the high board has been cordoned off to the public for the past decade.

Today is an exception. Hunter United Diving Academy coaches will supervise the boards, including the high one, between noon and 2pm. They’re keen to find the next Mathew ‘‘The Adamstown Atomic Bomb’’ Helm, who won silver at Athens in 2004.

Happy landings, and don’t break  your back.

 Sprinkling for gold

 DO you find Australia Day a bit lacking? 

Then dear reader, let us present a January26 tradition of seven years’ standing. It’s from Wallsend.

The Golden Sprinkler is simple, says founding father Ian Kentish. 

You get a score out of 25 for your lawn. 

Judging criteria include vibrancy of colour, grass species consistency (diversity isn’t celebrated here) and lushness.

Officials are susceptible to corruption, as contestants can boost their scores by providing beverages.

These are some hard-and-fast rules: 

1. There will be seven contestants (no guest appearances allowed).

They are: Ian Kentish, Ben Davis, Ryan Campbell, Nick Cook, Richard Dunnicliff, Brendan Trummel and Matt Neat.

2. As in an Olympic diving contest, the highest and lowest judges’ scores don’t count.

3. A contestant cannot judge his own lawn.

4. Lawn sabotage is frowned upon.

The winner is awarded the perpetual Golden Sprinkler trophy and beer cooler.

Matt Neat is the Novak Djokovic of this competition, having won the past two.

May the best man win, gentlemen.

Do you have an Australia Day tradition? Share it with us.

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