kayak to Canberra for climate change

MAN ON A MISSION: Steve Posselt is at home on the water. Picture: Supplied

MAN ON A MISSION: Steve Posselt is at home on the water. Picture: Supplied

HE’S an eco-warrior and Aussie adventurer who will be kayaking into Newcastle as part of the last leg of a “Connecting Climate Chaos” journey that has taken him around the world.

Steve Posselt, 64, has kayaked more than 13,000 kilometres to raise awareness of climate change, including journeying up the Mississippi River, across the Great Lakes of North America, in the Arctic Circle and across the English Channel. 

And on Saturday, Posselt will paddle into Newcastle Harbour and stop at Horseshoe Beach as part of a 1200km stretch that began in Ballina on New Years Day.

After setting off from Newcastle the passionate eco-warrior will head to Moruya on the south coast of NSW before dragging his kayak, “Old Yella”, the final 180 kilometres to Canberra.

There he will deliver a “Climate Emergency Declaration” petition asking the Australian Parliament to declare a climate emergency and mobilise resources to restore a safe climate.

Organisers are hoping more than 100,000 people will have signed the petition by the time Posselt makes it to Canberra. 

He will stop at Horseshoe beach at 10am on Saturday. For more info go to: kayak4earth.com or to sign the petition: climateemergencydeclaration.org

WANNA BUY SOME CHEAP LAND… ON MARS??!?!

FOR SALE: Well do ya? Want to buy an acre of land on Mars, that is.

FOR SALE: Well do ya? Want to buy an acre of land on Mars, that is.

Are you sick of this planet?

Would you like to live somewhere else, say slightly further away from the sun?

Do you fancy gambling your money and possibly your life on the habitability of another planet? 

If you answered yes to any of those questions then Topics has an offer that simply cannot be missed.

You see, American e-commerce marketplace Groupon is offering one acre of land on Mars for just $19, slashed from $45.97 (don't ask why).

Don't question whether Groupon is authorised to sell land on another planet, just think of that 59 per cent saving. 

And that big ol' acre to retire on. 

That's more than 4000 square metres of the Red Planet's in-demand iron oxide surface. 

(Quick math). That's more than 212 metres of possibly inhabitable land per dollar!! 

You'd be a fool not to snap this offer up.

Topics has already bought our acre.

We plan on raising some sort of cattle-like species.

Don't tell us liquid water cannot exist on the planet's surface due to low atmospheric pressure.

We won't hear of it! 

But seriously, this is a real thing.

According to Groupon they’ve already sold a thousand of these acres.

They are going like volcanic hot cakes.

The blurb goes like this: "Friends will turn red knowing that you own an acre of land on the Red Planet; rub it in their face with a Mars deed, map and NASA report."

"Give a gift that’s literally out of this world. "Secure your place on the planet now before all the other humans relocate in search of peace and quiet.

"Spark the curiosity of any astronaut with two eBooks, NASA report and map of Mars. "Ideal present for someone who owns enough earthly possessions."

But, hey, only five vouchers per customer!

Don't get greedy people.

Mars is the second smallest planet in the solar system and we can't have some people hogging all the land when we finally destroy Earth and need somewhere else to colonise.

See you guys there.

We'll be the one with living underground due to the greatly reduced air pressure and an atmosphere with only 0.1% oxygen.

CAN. NOT. WAIT. 

GUINEA PIG: You could live like Hollywood star Matt Damon.

GUINEA PIG: You could live like Hollywood star Matt Damon.