Sausage sizzles and cakes on election day, or something a bit tastier

It’s time to vote on Saturday in the council elections in Newcastle, Maitland, Port Stephens and Dungog.

Geez, we can hear your collective groan from here. We know, we know. Councils – and any government for that matter – are experts at wasting our money hand over fist and talking a lot of bulldust.

But they do some good stuff, too, and help connect communities at a grassroots level.

Thing is, if we had more ordinary, decent people who stood for election at council, we wouldn’t have so many control-freaky, weasel types who use councils as a stepping stone for their political ambitions.

But if none of this interests you, at least you can hope for a decent cake stall or sausage sizzle at your local polling booth.

Not everyone is keen on sausages, though. And cakes can sometimes miss the mark.

That’s why we need folks like those who run The Essential Ingredient at the Junction Fair Shopping Centre.

What we’re saying is, we could do with some better election-day snackies.

In a blog post, The Essential Ingredient has come up with some politically-themed election food stall ideas. This should tickle your tastebuds.

Potholed Rocky Road - A subtle reminder that our transport system needs tending. Name it after a local street or highway.

Pork Barrel Sausage Rolls - You know what they say about politicians. Always with their snouts in the trough.

Profiteeringroles - As in profiteroles. These tasty treats are light, airy and insubstantial, although fairly expensive. Kind of like a lot of pollies.

Macadamia Brittle Egos - Topics loves this one. So true. So very true. This also suits those fringe candidates who are nutty. Make them with whatever kind of nut you like. They will crack at the slightest provocation into tiny pieces, often with sharp edges.  

Chocolate Fudge The Numbers - Topics has no doubt that quite a bit of creative accounting goes on in local politics. But instead of cooking the books, why not cook some chocolate fudge?

Rainbow Plebi-slice - We like this one, too. This is the election food essential linked to a vote that will never get near a polling booth. Give it a place at your food stall on Saturday, even though it’s not a local government election issue. But don’t worry, local pollies often get confused about what’s a local issue and what’s federal.

Meri Meri Silly Circus Cupcake Kit - This is a box of 24 patty pans and cake toppers with themes including “Silly Circus”, “I believe in Unicorns” and “Let’s be Mermaids”.  Given politicians’ propensity to make clowns of themselves, and their faith in magical, fairytale solutions, this is quite appropriate. The kids will love them, too.

A Liddell More Coal

Topics was interested to read yesterday about the commotion regarding Liddell Power Station in the Upper Hunter.

For anyone who missed it, Liddell owner AGL has for some time planned to close the old coal-fired power plant in 2022. It’s keen as mustard to get on with leading the country to a new future of clean energy.

A joke about Liddell Power Station gave Topics a giggle.

A joke about Liddell Power Station gave Topics a giggle.

Only problem is, there’s a fair bit of concern about electricity prices and the prospect of blackouts, if Liddell closes.

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and his posse of coal backers are keen for Liddell’s life to be extended for five or more years.

Malcolm is trying to buy time because he’s finding it hard to make a decision on a clean energy target. Plus he’s worried about the aforementioned power prices and blackouts.

There’s also that sticky issue of his Paris climate change commitments and the risk that, if we keep burning coal, the planet might end up cooking like an egg on tarmac on a scorching hot day.

Bit of a dilemma, there.

Anyhow, we enjoyed some of the humour going around about Malcolm’s push to squeeze some more life out of the dirty old coal dinosaur up north, like this comment that likened the matter to drug addiction.

You have to imagine Malcolm going to his local coal dealer, desperate for some of the black stuff: “Just give us a Liddell bit more coal-fired power. Just a Liddell. We’ll give up on coal after that. We promise. Just one more hit. Then we’ll go clean.”

Keep Calm

A different take on the Keep Calm theme. Only in America, hey.

A different take on the Keep Calm theme. Only in America, hey.

The Keep Calm and Carry On slogan that popped up in Great Britain a while back has taken on many forms.

We’ve heard Keep Calm and Ooroo, Keep Calm and Always Smile and Keep Calm and Eat A Cookie.

Col Maybury, of Kurri Kurri, sent us this one from Orlando – Keep Calm and Return Fire. Only in America.

Send your Keep Calm examples to topics@theherald.com.au