SATIRE

Topics: The firefighter from Kurri Kurri and her Harley, turning up the heat (and complaining) and an Ed Sheeran giveaway

PASSION FOR BIKES: The Litas Newcastle founder Matilda Quist, centre, with fellow riders, from left, Madeleine Coutts and Zoe Swain ahead of the the Sheilas Shakedown next month. Picture: Billy June Photography
PASSION FOR BIKES: The Litas Newcastle founder Matilda Quist, centre, with fellow riders, from left, Madeleine Coutts and Zoe Swain ahead of the the Sheilas Shakedown next month. Picture: Billy June Photography

ON Sunday, Matilda Quist found herself in a fire truck in Sydney as the mercury soared.

The firefighter from Kurri Kurri was in the dying hours of a 24-hour shift and “sweating so much” in heavy protective clothing as the sirens blared. Sounds awful.

We’d be picturing that annoying Corona ad that contrasts your life with that of “where you’d rather be”, on a beach somewhere in Mexico listening to the “chill out” playlist on Spotify while long-haired surfers effortlessly carve up the green room.

Save for Matilda, though, who is most at home around anything loud.

“It was so hot on Sunday, crazy hot, and I was sweating so much in that truck,” the 28-year-old said. “But I still thought to myself: ‘this is the best job in the world’. There isn’t anything I’d rather be doing.”

Matilda is the first to admit her life story does not fit the “traditional” gender mould: she’s a firefighter, she used to drive a 240-tonne dump truck for Glencore’s Bulga open-cut mine and she’s got a passion for contact sport, especially gridiron.

HOT: The Jets are giving away two VIP tickets to Ed Sheeran.

HOT: The Jets are giving away two VIP tickets to Ed Sheeran.

Next month, she will take part in the Sheilas Shakedown with the Newcastle chapter of The Litas, described as a “collective of moto-inspired women”.

They will traverse down the coast in their Harleys, picking up other like-minded women along the way, before arriving at the Yarra Junction in rural Victoria.

Why? Because “chicks rule”.

“Everyone should just be able to do what they love,” she said. “We should all live by that.”

Visit: thelitas.co/newcastle

How about this heat?

WHY is it whenever it gets hot we love to love complaining about the heat. Can’t we all just ride it out in peace without the drama?

Topics began to think about this as we flicked between news websites that stated the bleeding obvious and our phone that kept vibrating with text messages from a visiting friend who began to slip further and further into madness as the day went on.

“It’s hot in this house and at the beach,” the first message, at 11.49am, observed. 

The second queried why Topics didn’t own a cheap fan from Kmart. 

The third came a few minutes later and pointed out there were no Zooper Doopers in the freezer. “WHY?” the friend said.

The fourth was a warning shot across the bow: “I am going to drink all of your cold beers.”

The fifth and final was grim: “I could be dead by the time you get home.”

How do you beat the heat? Tell Topics.

(NB: Our friend did not die. But she was stuck to the couch, presumably in a pool of sweat, when we got home.)

Ed and the Jets

ED Sheeran: so hot right now. The Newcastle Jets are giving away two VIP tickets to the Ed Sheeran concert in March. Fans go in the running if they attend all three home matches. The winner is drawn on January 20.

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