SATIRE

Newcastle's very own brand of surfboard and skateboard

Newcastle is a surfing and skateboarding town.

How could it not be, with the urban landscape merging into the beach?

One thing’s for sure, surfing and skateboarding have always been cool.

Newcastle City Council is seeking to tap into that cool by creating a surfboard and two skateboards with the Newcastle logo.

Are councils cool? Their road-gang workers seem pretty chilled. OK OK, that’s a low blow. Working on roads is a tough job. 

Newcastle council’s big kahuna Jeremy Bath is a pretty cool cat.

One reason Jeremy wants to dump the word council from the council’s name is because council is not a cool name.

This becomes even more apparent when you use the word council three times in a single sentence like we just did. 

Jeremy said this back in December: “I don’t like the word council. I think it’s tired; it’s outdated. I think it stands for a level of bureaucracy and red tape that we’re very much committed to getting away from”.

He should have said: “The word council just isn’t cool”.

Is Lord Mayor Nuatali Nelmes cool?

She often appears to be pretty stoked. And she does rock those mayoral chains. But the bling is more of a hip-hop vibe, than surfing and skating fashion. 

But those blonde locks do give the mayor a bit of surfing cred. She could easily have been a surfer chick in her younger years. She was in Hawaii recently dodging phantom missiles. While others panicked, she kicked back poolside. That’s cool. We’re not sure if she waxed a board and got barrelled. 

Anyhow, the city council will give away the surfboard and two skateboards branded with Newcastle's tourism logo and the slogan “See Change”. 

The two best social media photos taken at the Nudie Australian Boardriders Battle, Surfest and the Australian Bowl Riding Championships will win the boards.

To enter, share a photo from one or more of the events on the council’s social media accounts or tag them on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

Winners will be announced February 26.

Don’t Be My Valentine

We’ve all heard of Valentine’s Day, but have you heard of Anti Valentine’s Day?

Topics heard there was some “radical Anti Valentine’s Day badge-making” going on at Newcastle council’s new teen hang out, named IRL, at Wallsend Library. 

The council said on its website that IRL Wednesday – held on the fourth Wednesday of each month – offered teens “a chance to chill out, socialise and enjoy some Wednesday fun”.

It’s all about pop culture, movies, games and challenges.

Good on ‘em for giving the youngsters a chance to connect in the real word.

But what does IRL mean? Do you even have to ask? It’s social media slang for “In Real Life”.

Who said the council wasn’t cool. Not us.