Opinion
I completely stuffed up in a meeting. Should I resign in embarrassment?
Jonathan Rivett
Freelance writerI was put on the spot in a meeting and asked to explain a fairly complex concept to several colleagues. I completely stuffed it up and embarrassed myself.
My boss was gracious in the moment, but later couldn’t hold back their disappointment and contempt. I tried to explain that I knew the concept very well, but had never had to explain it before. This did not go down well. I’m now seriously considering resigning. I hate the thought that I’m a burden to the team and am taking a role that someone else could do more competently. Is that the best option?
Not being able to explain something under unusual, difficult or simply unexpected circumstances isn’t evidence of incompetence or incapability.Credit: John Shakespeare
If it’s absolutely clear to you that you’re not up to this job I think resignation is very likely best for you and the organisation. Persevering with a job in which you’re completely out of your depth is a form of professional masochism (or sadism, if it’s an employer demanding that you keep going).
But I get the strong sense from everything you’ve said in your question and in your longer explanation of the situation, that you’re capable, and probably very good at your job.
The problem, it seems to me, isn’t ineptitude on your part, but that you’ve had your confidence shaken by your manager’s outburst. And I am not convinced that outburst was fair. The fact your boss showed magnanimity in front of your colleagues is a silver lining (being publicly lambasted is a truly awful experience, especially in a workplace), but I don’t think it makes up for the dirty black cloud that was their private scolding.
Their frustration is understandable if this was a crucial meeting and pivotal question, but contempt is a severe response. And it’s not as if your explanation of what happened was implausible or blatant responsibility shirking. Actually, I think what you experienced, going blank when put on the spot, is far more common than any of us would like to admit.
I remember many years ago needing to tell a boss about the difference between a technical grammatical convention as we worked on an urgent communication job. It was a situation where ambiguity would have caused problems, and the meaning of a sentence hinged on this seemingly small choice between two similar-looking options.
I knew the rule, or more precisely, I knew how to put the rule into practice in a sentence, but when I was asked to explain it with just minutes left before an immovable deadline, I twisted myself in verbal knots and only confused my boss.
I was stressed, yes, but on reflection I realised that part of the problem was that I understood the rule only well enough to employ it correctly; teaching it was another matter entirely.
Much more recently, I attended a primary school event where students showed parents what they’d learnt in maths by showing a game involving equations. My older daughter began one of these games with me when the teacher came over and asked her how she was going to work out the first sum.
She ummed and ahhed, and it seemed as if she couldn’t. That evening I suggested we do some practice and work out what she found difficult about the calculation. It turned out she didn’t find it difficult at all; when sitting beside me in the quiet of our living room, with no teacher, other parents or classmates about, she could solve the problem easily.
The point is, not being able to explain something under unusual, difficult or simply unexpected circumstances isn’t evidence of incompetence or incapability. Unless your job expressly requires you to perform near-perfectly as the clock ticks or the tension builds, or the situation arbitrarily shifts, an occasional “stuff up” shouldn’t elicit surprise, let alone disdain.
I can see how the dressing down from the boss would lead you to question your own ability and to thoughts of imposterdom. And I know how the embarrassment of a situation like the one you endured can linger for a long while.
But I would urge you not to resign, or to worry about being a burden, unless you’re certain that your mistake was a catastrophic failure rather than a completely normal human stumble.
Hold yourself to high standards, certainly, and learn from the mistake if you can, but try not to put too much store in your boss’s unsympathetic reaction.
Send your Work Therapy questions to jonathan@theinkbureau.com.au
The Business Briefing newsletter delivers major stories, exclusive coverage and expert opinion. Sign up to get it every weekday morning.