Every Jim Maxwell batting verb, ever, alphabetically

SMASH, SMEAR, WALLOP: Adam Voges larrups one against the Windies in Hobart.

SMASH, SMEAR, WALLOP: Adam Voges larrups one against the Windies in Hobart.

FOLLOWING Chris Rogers’ pioneering of “ram-raided” to describe an Adam Voges shot on ABC radio, Peter Elliott of Charlestown has made the definitive list of batting verbs.

“I thought you might be interested in a list of words used by chief commentator, Jim Maxwell,” says Peter, and our oath we are, Peter. 

“Maxwell’s vocabulary is more restrained, but always apposite. I have compiled this list over many years of listening to ABC Grandstand and it’s still a work in progress.”  

Here’s Peter’s list, in alphabetical order, present tense, transitive verbs only. Ready? *Clears throat*.

The batsman...

...belts, blasts, blocks, bludgeons, bunts, caresses, carves, chips, clips, clobbers, clubs, cracks, dabs, deflects, dispatches, drops, eases, edges, fiddles, flays, flicks, forces, glides, guides, hammers, heaves, hoicks, knocks, larraps, lathers, lifts, lofts, nurdles (“a Maxwell original, I think”), nibbles, nicks, nudges, paddles, pats, places, pokes, prods, punches, pushes, quilts, runs, scoops, shovels, skies, slaps, slashes, slices, slides, slogs, smacks, smashes, smears, snicks, stabs, steers, strokes, swings, taps, thrashes, thumps, tickles, tips, tucks, turns, twiddles, wallops, whacks, whips, works...


A royal rendezvous

JOHN Geyer informs us he was one of the workers pictured in our photo of the Queen’s visit to the State Dockyard in 1970 (Topics, December 4).

“I was an apprentice at the Dockyard when this christening took place,” he says.

“The vessel being named was the Darwin Trader – it had been launched on February 7, 1970 and this christening took place on April 10.”

The Trader was a bulk ore container vessel and at the time, adds John, was the first Australian ship to be named by a reigning monarch.

First galaxy problems

Kevin Pietersen, pictured in happier times.

Kevin Pietersen, pictured in happier times.

LOCAL stormtrooper Glen Fredericks has experienced a giant, Death Star-sized First World Problem, which we’re always glad to hear about (Topics, December 15).

It happened last week when Glen sat down for a preview screening of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

“Crying at the new Star Wars movie (during the opening scroll) and the lens of my Stormtrooper helmet fogs up so it makes it hard to watch the rest of the movie,” moans Glen.

Topics is also pleased to see former England cricketer Kevin Pietersen getting in on First World Problems with a rant at Qantas over their refusal to let him into their lounge because he was wearing thongs.

“I suggest you tell Platinum, First Class fliers that they not allowed in your lounges with flip flops before they fly, @Qantas! Muppets!” tweeted KP, with an angry face emoji.

These are desperate times.

Playing the trump card

Will Donald Trump trump all before him?

Will Donald Trump trump all before him?

BECAUSE this newspaper never makes mistakes, let alone this column, we feel comfortable sharing this gem from the Toronto Globe and Mail.

“Correction: a Wednesday news story on Donald Trump incorrectly quoted a Hillary Clinton tweet as saying ‘Love Trump’s Hate’. In fact, the tweet was ‘love trumps hate’.”

Still. Hard to top the classic correction in the Rockhampton Morning Bulletin.

“The story, by reporter Daniel Burdon, said ‘more than 30,000 pigs were floating down the Dawson River’.

What Baralaba piggery owner Sid Everingham actually said was ‘30 sows and pigs’.”


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