Prince Harry and Meghan Markle make an appearance at Stockton

Prince Harry and bride-to-be Meghan Markle somehow found the time to visit Stockton and pose with a couple of schoolkids before the big day on Saturday.

Splendid, that. 

As far as we know, it’s the first time the aristocracy has visited Stocko.

The truth is, this cracking cardboard cut-out of Harry and Megs will be the star attraction at a royal wedding bash on Saturday at the Stockton home of Lisa Louise.

Lisa raised the money for the cut-out on GoFundMe. It started as a joke, but somehow punters kicked in the $130 cost.

“It is a bit creepy because Harry's hand is three-dimensional. It's life-size. Harry is over six-foot. I also have royal family masks, cupcake toppers and a massive corgi balloon,” Lisa told Topics.

“I'm dressing as a bride. I'm channeling Carrie in Sex and the City when she was jilted by Big.

“I have a dress and a headpiece. Guests are wearing costumes.”

High tea will be served on vintage china.

“If anyone is disrespectful, I will send them out the back to my husband's domain,” she said.

Also at the party, a dance-off will be held to the Eurovision-winning Israeli chicken-dance song.

The winner will receive stubby holders with a royal theme. It’s all very proper.

Lisa is particularly looking forward to seeing Meghan Markle’s dress.

“She channels the immaculate style of Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, so I am obsessed by Meghan,” she said.

“And I do hope Princess Beatrice wears a toilet on her head again.”

Lisa isn’t a huge fan of Charles and Camilla.

“I only really like Harry and William and their wives, but I respect the Queen. Prince Philip is the bomb, but the rest of them are a bit useless,” Lisa said.

Posh Names

As royal fever spreads, we noticed a thing online called a “royal/posh name generator”.

At the click of a button, you get 10 royal names from each sex. We got these male names: Carter Chins-Ranton, Preston Winstanley, Felix Gilkes, Henry Cummings, Ashby May-Porter, Timothy Forrest, Rufus Hunton-Blather, Harrison Carlyle, Alfie Pierpont and Rupert Dewitt.

And these female names: Caroline Tate, Maude Darlington-Whit, Sara Wildingham, Poppy Baxter, Miriam Smythe, Olivette Winthrope, Helene Remington, Arabella Bainbridge, Penelope Mortcombe and Blanche Winchester.

Wired for Sound

Topics was interested to hear ex-Silverchair frontman Daniel Johns apparently has a form of synaesthesia.

“The way sound works in my head is really visual. I hear something and I will add something else to make it seem warmer or colder or tougher or more vulnerable.

“I’ve spoken about it in therapy, because I thought I was crazy, but it’s a thing. I think about it visually, it’s a feeling in my head behind my eyes.”

Apparently, quite a lot of artists have synaesthesia

Singer Pharrell Williams, who wrote the song Happy, said he can “see sounds.”

“There are seven basic colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. And those also correspond with musical notes,” he said.

“I don't know if that makes sense but I could always visualise what I was hearing. It was like … weird colors.”