Tartan Warriors lift big stones at the Aberdeen Highland Games

You’ve got to feel for the Scots, hey?

England makes its first World Cup semi-final since 1990, while Scotland doesn’t qualify for the tournament at all.

The last time the Scots appeared at the tournament was 1998. Poor buggers.

We do feel for Newcastle’s Scottish folks, but at least they had Australia to support.

And while the Scots haven’t been excelling at soccer on the international stage, they are pretty good at lifting big stones.

Just take a look at these photos of the strongman competition at the Aberdeen Highland Games at the weekend [that's Aberdeen in the Hunter, not Scotland].

The competition featured so-called Tartan Warriors showing their strength. In one contest, the warriors had to quickly lift five massive stones off the ground and onto barrels. The stones weighed between 100 kilograms and 165 kilograms.

The boulder-lifting challenge is known as the Clach Cuid Fir, which is Gaelic for “manhood stone”.

Manhood stones were used for centuries in Scotland to test the strength of young men. It was a rite of passage. 

All we can say is, how are your backs feeling, laddies?

The Glendale Goanna

A Topics spy reckons this aerial map of the Glendale interchange project looks a bit like a goanna.

The Glendale interchange project's yellow road markings look a bit like a goanna.

The Glendale interchange project's yellow road markings look a bit like a goanna.

We couldn’t help but notice the politics being played around the interchange issue recently.

It’s kind of fitting to link a goanna to a political issue because politicians have sometimes been compared to reptiles.

Some pollies do seem to have lizard-like qualities.  

Wikipedia says lizards are “often territorial” with the males “fighting off other males and signalling, often with bright colours, to attract mates and to intimidate rivals”.

Colours aside, this sounds just like Barnaby. 

Tell you what, if Barnaby had the Glendale interchange in his electorate, it’d be built by now [we’re talking pre sex scandal]. Don’t you reckon?

The Reptilian Elite

All this talk of political power and reptiles reminds us of one of the strangest conspiracy theories around.

According to some [nutters], extraterrestrial reptilian humanoids rule the world. 

The theory goes that a race of reptilian beings has hijacked the Earth. Apparently, they can cross dimensions and change their appearance to human.

Sounds a bit like a TV series from the ‘80s named V. Funnily enough, it also featured reptiles disguised as humans.

The show featured a journalist who planned to reveal the truth on television.

However, the broadcast was interrupted by the reptiles who had taken control of the media.

Now, be honest. Did you just think of Rupert Murdoch? Wow! Us too.

  • topics@theherald.com.au