Winning my vote during election season will be easy. The first candidate to acknowledge hard-working singles (HWS) gets the golden ticket.
That’s not hard-working single parents or single pensioners doing it tough. It's working single people with no kids.
Don’t come at me with the tax relief argument. That’s not an exclusive deal.
HWS are battling like everyone else, but strangely are expected to pay top dollar for everything.
I would love to just once get a cut on something. Anything.
Here are a few policies that would boost HWS equality and their hip pockets:
1. A fair crack at getting Christmas off. HWS are always relegated to the bottom of Santa's holiday sack. HWS have family and friends. They enjoy handing their nieces and nephews their presents. HWS also like to have a few bevvies before Feats of Strength and family wrestling kick off.
2. A special law giving the sentence opener “As a single person” the same obnoxious moral weight as “As a mother/father/parent”. Example: “As a single person, I should get Christmas Day off”. Or “As a single person, I am entitled to a few bucks off my utility bills”.
3. A ban on calling every community shindig a “family friendly event”. As civilised humans we understand that any official community soiree held in a park in the daylight, with food trucks, rides, kiddies and clowns is not the place for alcohol-fuelled hi jinks. However, clowns are always a bit iffy and need the usual briefing on what's not acceptable.
4. Banning the single supplement. HWS sometimes don’t mind organised travel, but are not keen on paying double to avoid sharing a bedroom with a stranger. Our hostel days are over.
5. Outlawing the “lonely single” tag. Few HWS are lonely. They have fun, full, satisfying lives. While on the subject, a ban on unsolicited set ups with other HWS is a winning policy. Here’s the thing: not being single is not difficult. Anyone could be shacked up in a flash. It just involves a trip to a questionable pub and losing all sense of quality control, self-respect and smell.
It's time. As a hard-working single, I deserve better.